Yes my friends it is that time of the week. It’s Gloom and Doom Wednesday!!! I’m currently sitting outside on this clear blue sky with a nice breeze coming off the gulf listening to an eclectic mix here at starbucks. I’m sipping on a vanilla bean frap and recounting my day in my head to you lovely readers.
Let’s recount the events I had planned out from last night’s blog. Today I had a nice plan of sleeping in, eating a nice lunch and taking in a picture show. Sounded great didn’t it? It was a dream a hopeful wish that didn’t come true.
At 8am I awoke from my dreamland to the sound of my ring tone. I slowly slid out of bed like a zombie and saw that it was from my boss. I listened to the message and she asked where I was. In a panic I called immediately. I apparently was supposed to be in a classroom at 7:30 this morning. Due to a schedule shift on the excel spreadsheet, my dates are now off. I was supposed to be at the College Fair last night, at a presentation today and tomorrow and back in the office on Friday. So my schedule showed I was at the fair tonight and presentations tomorrow and Friday. That my friends was the start of my day.
My coordinator called the teacher and called me back. She tells me the teacher will be expecting me at 10am. I quickly jump in the shower, get dressed and fly out the door. As you all may know since you know me, obscenities were my declaration to the world. I arrived at school in the nick of time for 3rd period. I have to say, the students couldn’t have given a damn if I was there or not. I did two presentations in a row and the teacher did not once keep her class under control. I had a two-hour break for which I grabbed coffee and a sandwich at a coffee shop with free wifi. I was able to try to correct the schedule problem. I went to the last class and again, they had no interest in me what so ever except maybe a couple people. Yeah, maybe that’s cool that one or two had an interest in me but when you have students talking or smacking each other during the presentation it’s not cool. I don’t care what they say, I enjoy going to ghetto schools because those students are well behaved. Prominently white schools could care less.
After class I went back to the hotel and went to sleep.
I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to eat so now I am here at starbucks exhausted and hungry. I’m so over this week. I guess it’s just the way it is. I had two great trips to Indy and Maine. Now two bad weeks in Dallas and Florida, I hope the next two will be better.
So yeah, tomorrow I’m back at the same school talking to 11th graders and again on Friday to make up the two hours I missed today with that same teacher to a bunch of brats.
Sigh, if there wasn’t a schedule mix up I would have been back in my own bed tomorrow night. So I better inspire the next Spielberg or else!!!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
The Dream and the Internet Fiasco
I had a dream last night. I was living in a city near friends. It was raining and I was in my car driving. I saw a sign for a town I knew. I decided to drive towards it. The sun is shining and I drive into town towards a house of a girl I know. I see she’s having a party. I drive by then turn around and park down the street. I sneak through the back door and sit on the couch. She comes inside from the party and is happy to see me. She throws her arms around me and asks me to protect her. I find out what she means. She has been dating this Asian guy that she wants it to be over with. She invites me outside to the party and everyone knows me. From the front door my dead aunt Lucille walks out with an engagement ring around a charm. She doesn’t say anything, but just hands it over to me. The girl and I are the only ones that can see her. We both look at the ring and smile.
I wake up like it was a nightmare. My heart pounding and my covers wrapped around me laying vertical on the bed. But it wasn’t a nightmare I was happy and ecstatic. I woke up thinking I was now engaged and in love and wasn’t able to shake that feeling. At the same time I felt my aunt Lucille was in the room with me. That was the first time I ever dreamt of the dead.
So I am on my third state and I know some of you would argue this statement but I’m counting it simply because I’m not at home, but I am in Florida on the Gulf Coast. I am going to count it simply because my drive time is just about the same as me flying to any of the states I’ve been to.
So I drove up here on Sunday night after spending the evening with my mother, having dinner and doing laundry. The traveling is definitely catching up. I’m really dragging lately. I arrived at my Hotel in New Port Richey around 10pm Sunday night. I quickly learned that I didn’t have the Internet. It’s now Tuesday night and I still don’t have the Internet. I’m sitting at a starbucks coffee writing this. I’ve complained twice about the lack of the web at the hotel and the constantly say they are fixing it. Now I believe they are just saying that to all the customers. I may have to switch hotels tomorrow, urghh… it doesn’t make my work easy since next week is still up in the air. I’m going out of town next week, that’s confirmed. I just don’t know when.
I’m staying at a Quality Inn and the corporate slogan says that if I’m not 100% satisfied then I (Full Sail) get their money back. I can deal with the fact that the wallpaper is peeling off the walls and soap is like plastic. I can deal with that. I’ve stayed at worse at a highway motel but no Internet? Especially since I called last week and asked if they had it?
Well, the last two days have been tough. 5 or 6 presentations both days which makes it draining. The schools have been fine except one class. On both days I’ve had one class that have ruined it for me. Yesterday, I had a girl talk through the whole presentation and the teacher didn’t do anything. So I had to give her the evil eye. Today I was asked to stay one extra class at the end of the day and all the classes were great except the last class. The students could have cared less. First period and last period are always the hardest. For me and for them. So I usually have to give them the “Be Cool” speech. Which contains, if you’re not cool and disrespectful you’re not going to last long in the industry. Yeah, I know, but it works sometimes and in the film industry, it’s true.
Tomorrow I get to sleep in and relax. I have a college fair tomorrow night so that will be awesome!
Monday, after class I went out for sushi and a movie. I saw In the Valley of Elah. It’s Paul Haggis the director of “Crash” new movie. I give it up thumbs up. It wasn’t as powerful as Crash but it was good. Simple, matter-of-fact story telling. It’s not an anti-war movie at all but a generational movie. I’ve always thought about the comparison between soldiers of WWII to soldiers of today. Don’t get me wrong I am a strong supporter of our soldiers perhaps not the war but I do respect our armed forces a great deal. I’m proud of them. I just wonder sometimes as a generation. If you see the movie you’ll understand what I’m talking about. I guess that’s why I liked that movie simply because it asks that question. I don’t think it’ll be nominated for best picture but I do believe Tommy Lee Jones was really good in it so who knows maybe he’ll be nominated.
I don’t know if the title of the movie really fits the story. The David and Goliath aspect is way too simple. The metaphor is a man against the military. I don’t think that’s what the story is about at all. If you pick a bible story as the title it should be the Prodigal Son.
If I go to a movie tomorrow it will be “The Kingdom”. I’ll let you know about that one.
I also bought a new much-needed suitcase. I hope this one will hold up. Especially on this two-week straight trip starting next week. Wait? Who’s going to water my plants?
I wake up like it was a nightmare. My heart pounding and my covers wrapped around me laying vertical on the bed. But it wasn’t a nightmare I was happy and ecstatic. I woke up thinking I was now engaged and in love and wasn’t able to shake that feeling. At the same time I felt my aunt Lucille was in the room with me. That was the first time I ever dreamt of the dead.
So I am on my third state and I know some of you would argue this statement but I’m counting it simply because I’m not at home, but I am in Florida on the Gulf Coast. I am going to count it simply because my drive time is just about the same as me flying to any of the states I’ve been to.
So I drove up here on Sunday night after spending the evening with my mother, having dinner and doing laundry. The traveling is definitely catching up. I’m really dragging lately. I arrived at my Hotel in New Port Richey around 10pm Sunday night. I quickly learned that I didn’t have the Internet. It’s now Tuesday night and I still don’t have the Internet. I’m sitting at a starbucks coffee writing this. I’ve complained twice about the lack of the web at the hotel and the constantly say they are fixing it. Now I believe they are just saying that to all the customers. I may have to switch hotels tomorrow, urghh… it doesn’t make my work easy since next week is still up in the air. I’m going out of town next week, that’s confirmed. I just don’t know when.
I’m staying at a Quality Inn and the corporate slogan says that if I’m not 100% satisfied then I (Full Sail) get their money back. I can deal with the fact that the wallpaper is peeling off the walls and soap is like plastic. I can deal with that. I’ve stayed at worse at a highway motel but no Internet? Especially since I called last week and asked if they had it?
Well, the last two days have been tough. 5 or 6 presentations both days which makes it draining. The schools have been fine except one class. On both days I’ve had one class that have ruined it for me. Yesterday, I had a girl talk through the whole presentation and the teacher didn’t do anything. So I had to give her the evil eye. Today I was asked to stay one extra class at the end of the day and all the classes were great except the last class. The students could have cared less. First period and last period are always the hardest. For me and for them. So I usually have to give them the “Be Cool” speech. Which contains, if you’re not cool and disrespectful you’re not going to last long in the industry. Yeah, I know, but it works sometimes and in the film industry, it’s true.
Tomorrow I get to sleep in and relax. I have a college fair tomorrow night so that will be awesome!
Monday, after class I went out for sushi and a movie. I saw In the Valley of Elah. It’s Paul Haggis the director of “Crash” new movie. I give it up thumbs up. It wasn’t as powerful as Crash but it was good. Simple, matter-of-fact story telling. It’s not an anti-war movie at all but a generational movie. I’ve always thought about the comparison between soldiers of WWII to soldiers of today. Don’t get me wrong I am a strong supporter of our soldiers perhaps not the war but I do respect our armed forces a great deal. I’m proud of them. I just wonder sometimes as a generation. If you see the movie you’ll understand what I’m talking about. I guess that’s why I liked that movie simply because it asks that question. I don’t think it’ll be nominated for best picture but I do believe Tommy Lee Jones was really good in it so who knows maybe he’ll be nominated.
I don’t know if the title of the movie really fits the story. The David and Goliath aspect is way too simple. The metaphor is a man against the military. I don’t think that’s what the story is about at all. If you pick a bible story as the title it should be the Prodigal Son.
If I go to a movie tomorrow it will be “The Kingdom”. I’ll let you know about that one.
I also bought a new much-needed suitcase. I hope this one will hold up. Especially on this two-week straight trip starting next week. Wait? Who’s going to water my plants?
Saturday, October 6, 2007
The Great Escape
This episode takes place between 5am – 1am.
I wake up, shower, brew coffee and pack. I check out of my hotel room with no problems. I make the mistake of drinking my entire cup of coffee before I leave the hotel. I usually like to take a cup with me for the drive, but the continental breakfast hasn’t been set up yet. I leave early to be able to get some breakfast and relax before I get to the school. It’s 6:am and I have to be at work by 7:30am.
I get on the roads, missing ramps and exits until finally I get on the right road. I’m cruising down I-30W listening to NPR that there’s a road closure on I-30 because of an over turn semi. Having no idea where I am let alone where the closure is. Sure enough the closure is up ahead. I’m stuck in the middle lane for almost a half hour. The time it says it will take me to get to the school from my hotel. Of all the times where I don’t have a cup of coffee. Everyone merges to one lane and exits. Unfortunately there are not detour signs and I kind of follow the others. A stoplight separates me from the pack so now I just go on intuition. I drive on these back roads until I come to a major intersection. I make a left and voila! There’s I-30! After that 15-minute detour and on the road for close to an hour I’m cruising down I-30 towards Fort Worth. Morning rush hour is starting to show it’s ugly face. Several on ramps begin to merge pushing to the making this three lane highway into five. I now find myself in the left lane and see my exit far on the right. With my sloppy driving skills and a few obscenities I make it over to my exit in the nick of time. A few left and right turns I’m finding my roads okay until I end up in a turn only lane bunched into cars so my only choice is to turn left on the wrong road. Of course it’s the longest light in Fort Worth so it forces me to think about how much I hate driving in these cities. So I turn left and right on a side street that gets me back on the right road but I can only turn right to go the wrong way. So here I am stuck at the longest light once again having to turn left. It’s one of those five street intersections so a U-Turn is not a good Idea. I turn left and see a Wendy’s open for breakfast. I still have twenty minutes so I stop and grab some coffee. Finally I have coffee and end up on the right road. The school happens to only be two miles from that mess and I pull into the parking lot with 10minutes to spare. I grab my stuff and wonder around the school looking for the main office. Of course I’m going the wrong way and when I finally get there, it hasn’t opened yet. I wait a couple of minutes and the lady shows up. I sign in and she gives me directions to the teacher’s class. The office lady who hasn’t had her coffee yet gives me the directions to the classroom. I walk dragging my presentation suitcase behind me and carrying a box. I didn’t mention that this school is built on a hill so there are steps everywhere. It makes ten times harder to lug this gear around. I end up where I started when I was lost looking for the main office and now find myself lost again. So up stairs through busy halls I end up back at the office. The office lady apologizes because she realizes she sent me the wrong way. In fact the classroom is just around the corner from the office. After several internal obscenities screaming in my head I reach the classroom.
You know you’re a professional when you can turn off that negative hatred for your day and put on that nice fake “I’m happy to be here” smile on your face without anyone knowing. The art teacher is laid back and she’s liked the best friend or mom of the school, which makes me a bit more at ease. I set up and give my first presentation. I was still a bit frazzled so it wasn’t great, but the kids and teacher enjoyed it immensely. Of course her planning period is second period which means I have an hour to leave campus have a cigarette and gather my thoughts. The only problem with that is, is that I have six straight presentations in a row with a half hour lunch break. I show back up to the classroom and lucky for me the teacher has a coffee pot in the room and put it to use. I’m at ease now that I have coffee for the rest of the day. That’s always a perk when a teacher has coffee in the room.
After six straight and the teacher buying me taco bell for lunch I have finished inspiring young minds for the day. I pack up my things, study the map and make my way to the airport with six hours to kill.
I’m starting to crave ice-tea so I stop off the ramp at a McDonalds. The only thing that I’ve seen for awhile. I grab my ice-tea have a cigarette and relax before I turn in Big Boy. Well as the day has been going, it’s not that easy.
Of course the ramp that I got off at now merges with a bunch of other main highways and I end up on the wrong one. I exit and backtrack through a back road where it’s apparently the busiest back road in Dallas. Stuck on this two-lane road I see now where I have to go I just have to be patient and wait it out. Almost there, I’m in front of train tracks and you guessed it, a train comes. The train barrels by and I get on the ramp and start heading to the airport.
After a few swift turns I make it to the Enterprise rental car return. I take out all my stuff and hug Big Boy good-bye. I head on down to the busses and jump on one of them. As we start moving, the driver says we’re going to terminal E. I look up at the map and see that I have to go to terminal A. But the bus isn’t going to terminal A. So I ask her where I should go and she very politely (like this happens a lot) tells me to go up the stairs and straight out the doors and get on another bus to terminal A. Please!!! No More Stairs!! It’s an escalator and I’m okay with that. I go out and find the bus. It’s actually going to terminal C and A. Of course C is first. The driver is a young guy with big teeth. I think he’s a bit mentally challenged but he can’t stop talking about his girlfriend. More power this mentally challenged big tooth kid with a girlfriend…. just rub it in brotha! After being on the bus for over 20minutes learning everything I about this lovesick driver’s relationship I finally get off the bus. I have to drag my luggage a city block to the check in at the kiosk. I check in, look around and find a seat to sit. Finally I zip through security because all the restaurants are on the other side, which sucks and find my way to the gate. I still have four hours to kill. I find a Friday’s and have dinner for about an hour. I then wander around the terminal looking at shops all exclaiming how proud they are about Dallas and Texas. I feel kind of sick to my stomach. I then come across one of those airports massage places and nod my head. The room is quite inviting. Relaxed. I ask for the back and neck massage and they escort me to the chair.
After everything I have been through this was the best decision I had made all day. In the chair I realized I had made my great escape. Not the escape of leaving Dallas and the trials I had gone through the whole week. But the escape of doing something for me. Finding an oasis in the middle of the airport where I could shut down my head for a short time, enjoy being pampered, and enjoy this great escape.
My flight was on time and I boarded without any incident. I found my seat and buckled in. I grabbed the blanket and rested my head against the window falling a sleep to sounds of S80 engine and the rocking of the turbulence.
My car was intact, no cracked windows. I drove home hitting every red light there is on 436. After some more obscenities I laughed at the irony of being stuck in my car so close to home. I finally make it home, which I will stay for the next 30 hours.
I know a lot of you are in the same boat with me. Frustrated and worn down because of work or life. I encourage you to find one moment of bliss, spend an extra few bucks to be pampered or relax into something that will make you feel good. My moment in that massage chair lasted 15 minutes but it was worth every penny. So go when you can and find your Great Escape.
And yes, I have made peace with the fact that I still hate Dallas.
I wake up, shower, brew coffee and pack. I check out of my hotel room with no problems. I make the mistake of drinking my entire cup of coffee before I leave the hotel. I usually like to take a cup with me for the drive, but the continental breakfast hasn’t been set up yet. I leave early to be able to get some breakfast and relax before I get to the school. It’s 6:am and I have to be at work by 7:30am.
I get on the roads, missing ramps and exits until finally I get on the right road. I’m cruising down I-30W listening to NPR that there’s a road closure on I-30 because of an over turn semi. Having no idea where I am let alone where the closure is. Sure enough the closure is up ahead. I’m stuck in the middle lane for almost a half hour. The time it says it will take me to get to the school from my hotel. Of all the times where I don’t have a cup of coffee. Everyone merges to one lane and exits. Unfortunately there are not detour signs and I kind of follow the others. A stoplight separates me from the pack so now I just go on intuition. I drive on these back roads until I come to a major intersection. I make a left and voila! There’s I-30! After that 15-minute detour and on the road for close to an hour I’m cruising down I-30 towards Fort Worth. Morning rush hour is starting to show it’s ugly face. Several on ramps begin to merge pushing to the making this three lane highway into five. I now find myself in the left lane and see my exit far on the right. With my sloppy driving skills and a few obscenities I make it over to my exit in the nick of time. A few left and right turns I’m finding my roads okay until I end up in a turn only lane bunched into cars so my only choice is to turn left on the wrong road. Of course it’s the longest light in Fort Worth so it forces me to think about how much I hate driving in these cities. So I turn left and right on a side street that gets me back on the right road but I can only turn right to go the wrong way. So here I am stuck at the longest light once again having to turn left. It’s one of those five street intersections so a U-Turn is not a good Idea. I turn left and see a Wendy’s open for breakfast. I still have twenty minutes so I stop and grab some coffee. Finally I have coffee and end up on the right road. The school happens to only be two miles from that mess and I pull into the parking lot with 10minutes to spare. I grab my stuff and wonder around the school looking for the main office. Of course I’m going the wrong way and when I finally get there, it hasn’t opened yet. I wait a couple of minutes and the lady shows up. I sign in and she gives me directions to the teacher’s class. The office lady who hasn’t had her coffee yet gives me the directions to the classroom. I walk dragging my presentation suitcase behind me and carrying a box. I didn’t mention that this school is built on a hill so there are steps everywhere. It makes ten times harder to lug this gear around. I end up where I started when I was lost looking for the main office and now find myself lost again. So up stairs through busy halls I end up back at the office. The office lady apologizes because she realizes she sent me the wrong way. In fact the classroom is just around the corner from the office. After several internal obscenities screaming in my head I reach the classroom.
You know you’re a professional when you can turn off that negative hatred for your day and put on that nice fake “I’m happy to be here” smile on your face without anyone knowing. The art teacher is laid back and she’s liked the best friend or mom of the school, which makes me a bit more at ease. I set up and give my first presentation. I was still a bit frazzled so it wasn’t great, but the kids and teacher enjoyed it immensely. Of course her planning period is second period which means I have an hour to leave campus have a cigarette and gather my thoughts. The only problem with that is, is that I have six straight presentations in a row with a half hour lunch break. I show back up to the classroom and lucky for me the teacher has a coffee pot in the room and put it to use. I’m at ease now that I have coffee for the rest of the day. That’s always a perk when a teacher has coffee in the room.
After six straight and the teacher buying me taco bell for lunch I have finished inspiring young minds for the day. I pack up my things, study the map and make my way to the airport with six hours to kill.
I’m starting to crave ice-tea so I stop off the ramp at a McDonalds. The only thing that I’ve seen for awhile. I grab my ice-tea have a cigarette and relax before I turn in Big Boy. Well as the day has been going, it’s not that easy.
Of course the ramp that I got off at now merges with a bunch of other main highways and I end up on the wrong one. I exit and backtrack through a back road where it’s apparently the busiest back road in Dallas. Stuck on this two-lane road I see now where I have to go I just have to be patient and wait it out. Almost there, I’m in front of train tracks and you guessed it, a train comes. The train barrels by and I get on the ramp and start heading to the airport.
After a few swift turns I make it to the Enterprise rental car return. I take out all my stuff and hug Big Boy good-bye. I head on down to the busses and jump on one of them. As we start moving, the driver says we’re going to terminal E. I look up at the map and see that I have to go to terminal A. But the bus isn’t going to terminal A. So I ask her where I should go and she very politely (like this happens a lot) tells me to go up the stairs and straight out the doors and get on another bus to terminal A. Please!!! No More Stairs!! It’s an escalator and I’m okay with that. I go out and find the bus. It’s actually going to terminal C and A. Of course C is first. The driver is a young guy with big teeth. I think he’s a bit mentally challenged but he can’t stop talking about his girlfriend. More power this mentally challenged big tooth kid with a girlfriend…. just rub it in brotha! After being on the bus for over 20minutes learning everything I about this lovesick driver’s relationship I finally get off the bus. I have to drag my luggage a city block to the check in at the kiosk. I check in, look around and find a seat to sit. Finally I zip through security because all the restaurants are on the other side, which sucks and find my way to the gate. I still have four hours to kill. I find a Friday’s and have dinner for about an hour. I then wander around the terminal looking at shops all exclaiming how proud they are about Dallas and Texas. I feel kind of sick to my stomach. I then come across one of those airports massage places and nod my head. The room is quite inviting. Relaxed. I ask for the back and neck massage and they escort me to the chair.
After everything I have been through this was the best decision I had made all day. In the chair I realized I had made my great escape. Not the escape of leaving Dallas and the trials I had gone through the whole week. But the escape of doing something for me. Finding an oasis in the middle of the airport where I could shut down my head for a short time, enjoy being pampered, and enjoy this great escape.
My flight was on time and I boarded without any incident. I found my seat and buckled in. I grabbed the blanket and rested my head against the window falling a sleep to sounds of S80 engine and the rocking of the turbulence.
My car was intact, no cracked windows. I drove home hitting every red light there is on 436. After some more obscenities I laughed at the irony of being stuck in my car so close to home. I finally make it home, which I will stay for the next 30 hours.
I know a lot of you are in the same boat with me. Frustrated and worn down because of work or life. I encourage you to find one moment of bliss, spend an extra few bucks to be pampered or relax into something that will make you feel good. My moment in that massage chair lasted 15 minutes but it was worth every penny. So go when you can and find your Great Escape.
And yes, I have made peace with the fact that I still hate Dallas.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
To the ones I love...
I do appreciate all the advice I received from everyone regarding last night’s rambling throw down. All of it helps in the construction of anyone’s or mine journey through life. Without the questions we ask answers will never rise. Everyone’s trials are their own their trials may be simple compared to someone else, but they are our own. Our situation that needs to be thought out or found in our own way. Ignoring questions is a way of giving up on our daily trials.
Positive mental attitude aka: PMA is a great way to live your daily life. Being positive when you wake up to the time you go to sleep is important. Having that positive energy changes the energy around you and everything else, but we all know we have those bad days where PMA is thrown out the window. No matter what happens to me I always end up having a good day eventually. When things are out of your control you have to throw up your hands and let life sort it self-out. Majority of the time you always find that it works it self out and worrying about it doesn’t accomplish anything other than stress and sleepless nights. Yet sometimes you can’t control it whether it’s a mental condition or a situation that was in your control that eats away at you. The month of August I was a recluse because of little things added up and I was being torn down. It took family and friends as well as my job for making me leave Florida to pull me out of it. Now I’m a recluse because of my job not because I want to be. Yet, everyday I try to inspire young adults, explore a new place and retreat back to a small room. But isn’t that why I write these blogs? To connect to all of you, my dear readers.
I have had this dream since before I was six years old about what I’ve wanted to do with my life. I’ve been persistent and patient. I’ve succeeded and failed. As the years go on reality sets in and you end up knowing more about the “real-life” of your dream and you have a choice to continue on or give up. Although, I have wanted to give up many times in exchange for a more simple life, I just can’t. So I will journey on.
My father brought up the differences between “want” and “need”. I debated him on the difference but I understand what he was saying. For example: I want a camera because I need to make movies to help me get ahead. But the difference is more internally than physical. The simple fact life is not fair and not matter what it will always be bad, bad, bad, good, bad…
For those of you who know me know, I enjoy my little blessings and never take them for granted. I’m sensitive to the things around me and I’m vocal about my emotions to which I have no shame. You know me when I’m serious and when I’m just being a dirty old man. My dry sense of humor has gotten me into trouble a hundred times over and my sarcasm can sometimes can be misunderstood by even my close friends. I’m a fan of the half-truth and I enjoy living in the gray area.
This blog thing is new to me and I love it. I will be able to tell my friends and family who cannot see me everyday look inside my mind for a few moments everyday. For my mother and father to better understand their son on how he ticks. My cousins to be better explain who I am to their children, faux cousin/friend to build to make our relationship stronger, high schools friends to see that we haven’t changed only grown up, new friends or people that don’t even know me that we are all in the same boat and my closest friends to let them know I’m alright and their love means so much. I write to you as an outlet for me because I trust and admire all of you dearly. I’ve said this often and I will continue, but without all of you I would be a lost soul. If God chooses to take me home tonight or years from now I will at least have this. If I lose any of you, I know I can call upon any of you to cry on your shoulder. I move around a lot especially now and it’s hard to say where’s my home. My home is inside all of you.
I’m like all of you. I have my good days and my bad days. I see challenges and victories all in one day. I ask question looking for answers. I question faith and rely on it. I give out the good and fuck up sometimes by being bad. Set backs makes us strive to be better. I believe people are all the same inside. We hope, dream and wish for certain things. We are all trying to do something. From the religious radicals to the impaired, belief is a powerful thing. We all believe in something and that’s what’s makes us similar it’s just our beliefs that makes us different. If I had born in a different time or different culture my belief would have been different. I was born to two loving parents, wanted to make movies and have strived to make that happen. I’ve seen most of the United States, met some of the most beautiful people in the world, loved, seen and experienced so many things in my life like all of you have. We live in a beautiful world where bad things happen.
Oh, I’ll question the bad all the time because that’s what’s going to add drama to all of this. Hell, I’m waiting for something controversial to happen real soon to keep you guys interested. It can’t be all roses. To be honest, I kind of feel a bit censored only because I respect my mom and dad so much, but I’m slowly going to break down those bridges. Not like anything like this has happened but what if I have a one-night stand at my hotel, what will you all think? I guess that remains to be seen. I suppose that will be all a part of this whole story of this one man’s journey inspiring high school kids and seeing the country.
Thank you for being a part of my journey and being my home. I love you all.
For the ones that read this and don’t comment let me know you exist. Say hello or make a statement.
Dad: you don’t have to scroll down to the bottom of the page to comment, you can comment at the end of each post. I want to make sure people read your comments every day.
Mom: You have so much to say, even if it’s a bad day. People can learn from you and your disease. I don’t know if my blog reaches those people, but you are wise and we youngin’s can learn from you.
Michael: Aka: Fairy God-Mother, along with my mom and dad you helped raise me. You have been patient, supportive and dealt with the most shit out of anyone. Nothing is hidden between us and I love you for that. You are a part of my family…period
Brit: What can I say that I haven’t said already? You Rock!!! Yeah, that’s frat boyish and unintelligent, but I’m allowed because you know the true meaning behind all of it. I love you dearly and forever. Everything you write is absolute brilliance.
Glenda: Thank you for helping with my mother now stop working and rest for one second, especially now you deserve it.
Stacy: Oh Stacy, what can I say. You are more beautiful than the first time I met you. You and Rob are amazing people and two of the most important people in my life. You guys shaped me at such an early age. Tell your step dad that I’m still sorry.
Brent: Where the hell have you been? I’m sorry if I contributed to your smoking but it felt right at the time. So awesome to hear from you, thank you!!
Ragan: I wish I could give you a hug right now. You have been reading these blogs and have been so supportive. I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through right now and we need that drink.
Carrie: I can’t imagine my childhood without you. Thank you for finding me.
Stephanie: You are the cousin that was with me the whole entire time. I miss you dearly and I love your children. I hope someday we can be closer but always know you’re in my thoughts constantly.
Aspen: I have no idea who you are, but your advice for Maine was awesome!!! Thank you sooooo much!
For the rest of you who haven’t commented or I didn’t mention…. COMMENT damnit and let me know you’re out there. I love you all…
Positive mental attitude aka: PMA is a great way to live your daily life. Being positive when you wake up to the time you go to sleep is important. Having that positive energy changes the energy around you and everything else, but we all know we have those bad days where PMA is thrown out the window. No matter what happens to me I always end up having a good day eventually. When things are out of your control you have to throw up your hands and let life sort it self-out. Majority of the time you always find that it works it self out and worrying about it doesn’t accomplish anything other than stress and sleepless nights. Yet sometimes you can’t control it whether it’s a mental condition or a situation that was in your control that eats away at you. The month of August I was a recluse because of little things added up and I was being torn down. It took family and friends as well as my job for making me leave Florida to pull me out of it. Now I’m a recluse because of my job not because I want to be. Yet, everyday I try to inspire young adults, explore a new place and retreat back to a small room. But isn’t that why I write these blogs? To connect to all of you, my dear readers.
I have had this dream since before I was six years old about what I’ve wanted to do with my life. I’ve been persistent and patient. I’ve succeeded and failed. As the years go on reality sets in and you end up knowing more about the “real-life” of your dream and you have a choice to continue on or give up. Although, I have wanted to give up many times in exchange for a more simple life, I just can’t. So I will journey on.
My father brought up the differences between “want” and “need”. I debated him on the difference but I understand what he was saying. For example: I want a camera because I need to make movies to help me get ahead. But the difference is more internally than physical. The simple fact life is not fair and not matter what it will always be bad, bad, bad, good, bad…
For those of you who know me know, I enjoy my little blessings and never take them for granted. I’m sensitive to the things around me and I’m vocal about my emotions to which I have no shame. You know me when I’m serious and when I’m just being a dirty old man. My dry sense of humor has gotten me into trouble a hundred times over and my sarcasm can sometimes can be misunderstood by even my close friends. I’m a fan of the half-truth and I enjoy living in the gray area.
This blog thing is new to me and I love it. I will be able to tell my friends and family who cannot see me everyday look inside my mind for a few moments everyday. For my mother and father to better understand their son on how he ticks. My cousins to be better explain who I am to their children, faux cousin/friend to build to make our relationship stronger, high schools friends to see that we haven’t changed only grown up, new friends or people that don’t even know me that we are all in the same boat and my closest friends to let them know I’m alright and their love means so much. I write to you as an outlet for me because I trust and admire all of you dearly. I’ve said this often and I will continue, but without all of you I would be a lost soul. If God chooses to take me home tonight or years from now I will at least have this. If I lose any of you, I know I can call upon any of you to cry on your shoulder. I move around a lot especially now and it’s hard to say where’s my home. My home is inside all of you.
I’m like all of you. I have my good days and my bad days. I see challenges and victories all in one day. I ask question looking for answers. I question faith and rely on it. I give out the good and fuck up sometimes by being bad. Set backs makes us strive to be better. I believe people are all the same inside. We hope, dream and wish for certain things. We are all trying to do something. From the religious radicals to the impaired, belief is a powerful thing. We all believe in something and that’s what’s makes us similar it’s just our beliefs that makes us different. If I had born in a different time or different culture my belief would have been different. I was born to two loving parents, wanted to make movies and have strived to make that happen. I’ve seen most of the United States, met some of the most beautiful people in the world, loved, seen and experienced so many things in my life like all of you have. We live in a beautiful world where bad things happen.
Oh, I’ll question the bad all the time because that’s what’s going to add drama to all of this. Hell, I’m waiting for something controversial to happen real soon to keep you guys interested. It can’t be all roses. To be honest, I kind of feel a bit censored only because I respect my mom and dad so much, but I’m slowly going to break down those bridges. Not like anything like this has happened but what if I have a one-night stand at my hotel, what will you all think? I guess that remains to be seen. I suppose that will be all a part of this whole story of this one man’s journey inspiring high school kids and seeing the country.
Thank you for being a part of my journey and being my home. I love you all.
For the ones that read this and don’t comment let me know you exist. Say hello or make a statement.
Dad: you don’t have to scroll down to the bottom of the page to comment, you can comment at the end of each post. I want to make sure people read your comments every day.
Mom: You have so much to say, even if it’s a bad day. People can learn from you and your disease. I don’t know if my blog reaches those people, but you are wise and we youngin’s can learn from you.
Michael: Aka: Fairy God-Mother, along with my mom and dad you helped raise me. You have been patient, supportive and dealt with the most shit out of anyone. Nothing is hidden between us and I love you for that. You are a part of my family…period
Brit: What can I say that I haven’t said already? You Rock!!! Yeah, that’s frat boyish and unintelligent, but I’m allowed because you know the true meaning behind all of it. I love you dearly and forever. Everything you write is absolute brilliance.
Glenda: Thank you for helping with my mother now stop working and rest for one second, especially now you deserve it.
Stacy: Oh Stacy, what can I say. You are more beautiful than the first time I met you. You and Rob are amazing people and two of the most important people in my life. You guys shaped me at such an early age. Tell your step dad that I’m still sorry.
Brent: Where the hell have you been? I’m sorry if I contributed to your smoking but it felt right at the time. So awesome to hear from you, thank you!!
Ragan: I wish I could give you a hug right now. You have been reading these blogs and have been so supportive. I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through right now and we need that drink.
Carrie: I can’t imagine my childhood without you. Thank you for finding me.
Stephanie: You are the cousin that was with me the whole entire time. I miss you dearly and I love your children. I hope someday we can be closer but always know you’re in my thoughts constantly.
Aspen: I have no idea who you are, but your advice for Maine was awesome!!! Thank you sooooo much!
For the rest of you who haven’t commented or I didn’t mention…. COMMENT damnit and let me know you’re out there. I love you all…
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Gloom and Doom Wednesday
The IHop is quiet at 6:30am on this Wednesday morning. I woke up early so I could get a jump-start on traffic. I figure if I arrived close to the school early I could grab some breakfast and relax. When I started moving around my room I looked outside and saw rain pouring down the side of the building. Of all the places I travel to it rains in Dallas. Knowing the rain would add time to my drive I quickly got ready. I packed up my bags and checked out of the hotel before grabbing a cup of coffee for the road. Although the pouring rain was a factor it only took me half the time as it did yesterday. So now I have two hours to relax here at the international house of pancakes.
It looks to be a long day today. I figure I’m going to do six presentations and leave by 4pm this afternoon. It’s the same school as yesterday so I’m sure I’ll have some of the same repeat watchers which means I’ll probably not be able to play the game. The game is a Jeopardy type interactive game we play with the students. It actually wakes them up and sometimes I hear some moans and groans before we play but they really get into it. After school I drive 40 minutes southwest to Arlington in rush hour traffic.
It actually rained hard the last time I was here in Texas last July. My co-worker Matt and I started out from San Antonio to Dallas to Houston to represent Full Sail at the Warp Tour. It seemed like every time we started driving the car somewhere it started to rain. Today, it’s supposed to rain all day but clear up for tomorrow. Better today than Friday when I fly out of here.
I’m at the Lake Highland High School right now, sitting in the library waiting for my teacher to arrive. I’m soaked from the rain. Of course as soon as I pulled into the school the rain turned into a downpour. If it were up to me, I would equip all my rental cars with umbrellas as a privilege. Charge 20 bucks if the umbrella comes up missing from the car upon return. Perhaps I’m still a moderate traveler. If I were a well-seasoned traveler I would be more prepared and have a small umbrella for these situations. I’ll look into that. As well as getting new luggage that’s not ripping at the seams, yep all my stuff is falling a part.
Any who, I should go check on that teacher.
I’m sitting in the faculty lounge having a cup of coffee. It’s 10:30am. I’ve already had one presentation. It was kind of sketchy though. I started hooking up the projector and for some reason the projector was not working. Everything else worked fine. I had plugged into the teacher’s projector yesterday so I didn’t know that there could have been a problem with my projector. So I insisted we go to the library and check one out because there’s really nothing I could have done to make it as entertaining with out pictures. I really hope that I can get access to projectors the next couple of days in the classroom or this trip is going to be a nightmare.
I need to know if someone is actually keeping score on this trip. Not to be completely negative, but let’s just look at the facts. Car Rental, Pouring Down Rain, Broken Projector and Traffic, Wrong Addresses versus Good School, Nice Hotel and Meeting New People. It’s a 5-3 in favor of bad trip. Hey, I’ve been keeping a positive attitude so far and laughed off the bad so I’m allowed to vent. To put it in even more perspective, I haven’t had any of this bad, not even in Boston ever happen to me. I hate to say it, but Dallas I do not like you right now!! Almost everything that could go wrong on a trip has so far occurred. I’m not going to discuss the other stuff that could happen so I’m going to just leave that up to God.
I better head back. I’ll do two in a row, and then I’ll have another break then two more. I so wish I could post this right now actually no, I so wish I could curl up in my hotel room in a little ball and watch HBO all day long. Yes, that’s what I wish I could do.
The day is now over and I’m close to dreamland. Now please let me summarize because I have so many thoughts in my head. The bottom line is this trip has not been a good trip. Bad things have happen that have made my time here difficult. Sure nothing I can’t handle but it does make it stressful. Compared to other trips it’s been worst. Now is it Dallas? I don’t know. Yes we make the best out of situations and we try to learn from the trials and tribulations that happen in our lives. To what end? There’s no end to life’s trials, we always find ourselves in other bad situation or well, another trial. So taking a pessimistic standpoint on this would be why even try to be optimistic? What more lessons do I really need to learn? I am aware of my own mortality, I am aware of the world around me. I have been through bad days. So when is the lesson learned? Now I’m not taking back what I said yesterday because I strongly believe in what I said. But as an example I am trying to be friends with Dallas. Yes, I know this is a metaphor and we can discuss what the true meaning of what Dallas represents. Since I’ve already put out the negative vibes that Dallas sucks then of course it’s not going to be a great trip. Why then meet these nice people or sleep well at night? I think what I’m saying is when do you stop trying to be optimistic and finally realize the bad is just bad and you cannot change it. It’s like an abused wife thinking her husband is going to change or shrugging it off saying its just life. Now the real question is, and I’m only asking these questions because it’s ‘me” time because that’s what I’m suppose to do, right? You would feel sorry for that abused wife and try to help her. But what if she doesn’t what to be helped and you give up? Saying if she just wants to live in misery than that’s her life.
All right, so this is complete rambling but do you understand what I’m writing? There has to come a point where you stop being optimistic and just say this is bad. I feel a lot like that in my life. In Florida, there is a lot more bad than good. In Los Angeles there was a lot more bad than good. So obviously it’s me, right? Well yes. It’s like why am I still single? The excuse is the right one hasn’t come along yet. Why am I having a hard time wherever I live? I’ve prayed for years to God to keep me on path. So am I on the path that God wants me to be on? Am I so off the path that I can’t see the path God wants me to be on? If my entire life is to be devoted to movies why am I not making them? Am I supposed to be doing something else and if so why have I not found that path? Like I wrote on Monday, if a whole bunch of bad things led me to meeting those gentlemen was a good thing, right? Well why does bad things have to lead me to that sweet cherry? Enough is enough. Should I thank every stressful bad thing that happens to me and be so overjoyed when one good thing happens to me, do I? I am blessed I know that. I have so many blessings so please don’t get me wrong and think that I am ungrateful because I do count my blessing and thank God for them.
Perhaps my wanting is my sin. I want my mom and dad to meet my future wife and perhaps their grandchild. I want to be finically satisfied; I want to have more good things happen to me than bad. If wanting that is a sin, then I’m sorry mom and dad, you will never see me happy. Those are the questions spiraling through this limbo called “me” time. I just don’t want to be asking these same question ten years from now. These are just my questions that I need to find my own answers to because obviously I’m doing way to many things wrong. All those things that I have listed above as wants, I have tasted but they quickly went away. So what do I really want?
I’m sorry Dallas, you have a great big heart, but we just don’t get along. Sorry.
It looks to be a long day today. I figure I’m going to do six presentations and leave by 4pm this afternoon. It’s the same school as yesterday so I’m sure I’ll have some of the same repeat watchers which means I’ll probably not be able to play the game. The game is a Jeopardy type interactive game we play with the students. It actually wakes them up and sometimes I hear some moans and groans before we play but they really get into it. After school I drive 40 minutes southwest to Arlington in rush hour traffic.
It actually rained hard the last time I was here in Texas last July. My co-worker Matt and I started out from San Antonio to Dallas to Houston to represent Full Sail at the Warp Tour. It seemed like every time we started driving the car somewhere it started to rain. Today, it’s supposed to rain all day but clear up for tomorrow. Better today than Friday when I fly out of here.
I’m at the Lake Highland High School right now, sitting in the library waiting for my teacher to arrive. I’m soaked from the rain. Of course as soon as I pulled into the school the rain turned into a downpour. If it were up to me, I would equip all my rental cars with umbrellas as a privilege. Charge 20 bucks if the umbrella comes up missing from the car upon return. Perhaps I’m still a moderate traveler. If I were a well-seasoned traveler I would be more prepared and have a small umbrella for these situations. I’ll look into that. As well as getting new luggage that’s not ripping at the seams, yep all my stuff is falling a part.
Any who, I should go check on that teacher.
I’m sitting in the faculty lounge having a cup of coffee. It’s 10:30am. I’ve already had one presentation. It was kind of sketchy though. I started hooking up the projector and for some reason the projector was not working. Everything else worked fine. I had plugged into the teacher’s projector yesterday so I didn’t know that there could have been a problem with my projector. So I insisted we go to the library and check one out because there’s really nothing I could have done to make it as entertaining with out pictures. I really hope that I can get access to projectors the next couple of days in the classroom or this trip is going to be a nightmare.
I need to know if someone is actually keeping score on this trip. Not to be completely negative, but let’s just look at the facts. Car Rental, Pouring Down Rain, Broken Projector and Traffic, Wrong Addresses versus Good School, Nice Hotel and Meeting New People. It’s a 5-3 in favor of bad trip. Hey, I’ve been keeping a positive attitude so far and laughed off the bad so I’m allowed to vent. To put it in even more perspective, I haven’t had any of this bad, not even in Boston ever happen to me. I hate to say it, but Dallas I do not like you right now!! Almost everything that could go wrong on a trip has so far occurred. I’m not going to discuss the other stuff that could happen so I’m going to just leave that up to God.
I better head back. I’ll do two in a row, and then I’ll have another break then two more. I so wish I could post this right now actually no, I so wish I could curl up in my hotel room in a little ball and watch HBO all day long. Yes, that’s what I wish I could do.
The day is now over and I’m close to dreamland. Now please let me summarize because I have so many thoughts in my head. The bottom line is this trip has not been a good trip. Bad things have happen that have made my time here difficult. Sure nothing I can’t handle but it does make it stressful. Compared to other trips it’s been worst. Now is it Dallas? I don’t know. Yes we make the best out of situations and we try to learn from the trials and tribulations that happen in our lives. To what end? There’s no end to life’s trials, we always find ourselves in other bad situation or well, another trial. So taking a pessimistic standpoint on this would be why even try to be optimistic? What more lessons do I really need to learn? I am aware of my own mortality, I am aware of the world around me. I have been through bad days. So when is the lesson learned? Now I’m not taking back what I said yesterday because I strongly believe in what I said. But as an example I am trying to be friends with Dallas. Yes, I know this is a metaphor and we can discuss what the true meaning of what Dallas represents. Since I’ve already put out the negative vibes that Dallas sucks then of course it’s not going to be a great trip. Why then meet these nice people or sleep well at night? I think what I’m saying is when do you stop trying to be optimistic and finally realize the bad is just bad and you cannot change it. It’s like an abused wife thinking her husband is going to change or shrugging it off saying its just life. Now the real question is, and I’m only asking these questions because it’s ‘me” time because that’s what I’m suppose to do, right? You would feel sorry for that abused wife and try to help her. But what if she doesn’t what to be helped and you give up? Saying if she just wants to live in misery than that’s her life.
All right, so this is complete rambling but do you understand what I’m writing? There has to come a point where you stop being optimistic and just say this is bad. I feel a lot like that in my life. In Florida, there is a lot more bad than good. In Los Angeles there was a lot more bad than good. So obviously it’s me, right? Well yes. It’s like why am I still single? The excuse is the right one hasn’t come along yet. Why am I having a hard time wherever I live? I’ve prayed for years to God to keep me on path. So am I on the path that God wants me to be on? Am I so off the path that I can’t see the path God wants me to be on? If my entire life is to be devoted to movies why am I not making them? Am I supposed to be doing something else and if so why have I not found that path? Like I wrote on Monday, if a whole bunch of bad things led me to meeting those gentlemen was a good thing, right? Well why does bad things have to lead me to that sweet cherry? Enough is enough. Should I thank every stressful bad thing that happens to me and be so overjoyed when one good thing happens to me, do I? I am blessed I know that. I have so many blessings so please don’t get me wrong and think that I am ungrateful because I do count my blessing and thank God for them.
Perhaps my wanting is my sin. I want my mom and dad to meet my future wife and perhaps their grandchild. I want to be finically satisfied; I want to have more good things happen to me than bad. If wanting that is a sin, then I’m sorry mom and dad, you will never see me happy. Those are the questions spiraling through this limbo called “me” time. I just don’t want to be asking these same question ten years from now. These are just my questions that I need to find my own answers to because obviously I’m doing way to many things wrong. All those things that I have listed above as wants, I have tasted but they quickly went away. So what do I really want?
I’m sorry Dallas, you have a great big heart, but we just don’t get along. Sorry.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Memories at Their Expense
I woke up refreshed at 5am this morning or if I was in Florida 6am. So am I more rested since I’m an hour behind or is my body just dumb because it thinks it’s just slept for an extra hour? Regardless, it was still dark. And it was still dark while I was stuck in traffic at 7am but the light was coming up and by the time I was unstuck from traffic on a 19mile drive that took an hour to the school it was then broad daylight.
The kids were so respectful and nice. It was a minority-dominated school that I always seem to have more fun at. You here all those bad stories from schools like that, but everyone that I have been to I’ve always been treated with respect and have fun at. I think they just like the fact that I gave coffee to Jessica Alba on a regular basis. But it was a short day. I was out in 3 classes so I had the whole day to have…
…A momentary lapse of insanity. Today was expense day! At the end of every month I go through all my receipts and pray to God that they all add up. As well as not missing any. This is what I should have done on Saturday or Sunday that I procrastinated from doing. After a nice lunch from next door I start the writing, the counting, the praying. If I were smart I would do this as I go, but I don’t and wait until the end of the month when I have a plethora of little pieces of paper that I have to organize by date and time. I tape them to a white piece of paper and make an excel sheet of the date/what it was/what for/amount. It’s tedious. This time the process was a bit different. There was something special to it.
Every other receipt meant something. Having lunch at the hotel with my high school friends, that amazing sushi dinner with Brit, eating lobster on the floating restaurant in Maine and a great steak with to good ole Boys in Texas. For this one painstaking monthly moment I get to look back and remember everything I have done, seen and experienced. It’s been a good month.
I tell my students who ask what I’m doing now; I often say I’m taking a year off to focus on my own projects. I call it “me” time. I get frustrated because I haven’t made anything, or make excuses for not doing anything productive. I’m hard on myself and people around me for not putting in the effort when I have this time. I don’t have a camera so it’s too hard to find one and it would be so much easier if I did. Yet would it make any difference? Well, yes, but that’s not the point. The point is would this be the “me” time that I really need? Sure I’m poor, but I have a roof. Sure I’m a lone a lot but I have so many wonderful friends and family. Sure my job is redundant but I get to see the country. I’m like George Bailey in “It’s A Wonderful Life” you have to put of some things off, go through hell and back to find out you’re the wealthiest man in Bedford Falls. All of you have made me rich and breathed life into me and I love you dearly for it. I guess I’ve been chasing my dream for 31 years now and I have succeeded in some aspects, so right now in this quiet hotel room, in this moment in my life I’ve come to realize I really am getting “me” time.
Oh, my receipts all added up. I’m relieved. 27 hundred dollars of memories at their expense.
the view from my hotel
The kids were so respectful and nice. It was a minority-dominated school that I always seem to have more fun at. You here all those bad stories from schools like that, but everyone that I have been to I’ve always been treated with respect and have fun at. I think they just like the fact that I gave coffee to Jessica Alba on a regular basis. But it was a short day. I was out in 3 classes so I had the whole day to have…
…A momentary lapse of insanity. Today was expense day! At the end of every month I go through all my receipts and pray to God that they all add up. As well as not missing any. This is what I should have done on Saturday or Sunday that I procrastinated from doing. After a nice lunch from next door I start the writing, the counting, the praying. If I were smart I would do this as I go, but I don’t and wait until the end of the month when I have a plethora of little pieces of paper that I have to organize by date and time. I tape them to a white piece of paper and make an excel sheet of the date/what it was/what for/amount. It’s tedious. This time the process was a bit different. There was something special to it.
Every other receipt meant something. Having lunch at the hotel with my high school friends, that amazing sushi dinner with Brit, eating lobster on the floating restaurant in Maine and a great steak with to good ole Boys in Texas. For this one painstaking monthly moment I get to look back and remember everything I have done, seen and experienced. It’s been a good month.
I tell my students who ask what I’m doing now; I often say I’m taking a year off to focus on my own projects. I call it “me” time. I get frustrated because I haven’t made anything, or make excuses for not doing anything productive. I’m hard on myself and people around me for not putting in the effort when I have this time. I don’t have a camera so it’s too hard to find one and it would be so much easier if I did. Yet would it make any difference? Well, yes, but that’s not the point. The point is would this be the “me” time that I really need? Sure I’m poor, but I have a roof. Sure I’m a lone a lot but I have so many wonderful friends and family. Sure my job is redundant but I get to see the country. I’m like George Bailey in “It’s A Wonderful Life” you have to put of some things off, go through hell and back to find out you’re the wealthiest man in Bedford Falls. All of you have made me rich and breathed life into me and I love you dearly for it. I guess I’ve been chasing my dream for 31 years now and I have succeeded in some aspects, so right now in this quiet hotel room, in this moment in my life I’ve come to realize I really am getting “me” time.
Oh, my receipts all added up. I’m relieved. 27 hundred dollars of memories at their expense.
the view from my hotel
Monday, October 1, 2007
Finding Peace in the City I Loathe
I like to consider myself a very laid back guy. I enjoy the simple things and I tend to laugh off things that are completely out of my control. I guess my two pet peeves would be traffic and driving in traffic and not knowing where to go. Other than that I don’t really get too frustrated at things unless people get under my skin. I’m sure I reflect things off on people that view me in a certain way but those two things are what get me going. That doesn’t count me as a worrier. That’s different.
I woke up at 4am this morning hoping to get a head start by going into the office and get some work done. I start by making maps for my schools. I start searching for the school’s address and check if the teacher puts down an address in the email. I rarely do the latter but I sensed something fishy. The school in the subject line didn’t match the teacher’s address that she puts down in the email. After going through all this I find that two schools were inconsistent. I finally lock down the right address by emailing the teachers this morning and lucky for me they wrote back quick. Based on the previous addresses I booked my hotels based on that location so now I find myself thirty miles away from all the schools. Now with that new system with (I’m not going to swear) Expedia I can’t change my hotels like I could have with the old system. So now I just have to wake up a bit earlier.
I jumped into my car and made my way to the airport. Everything was going perfectly well. My American Airline flight was on time, I help others at the kiosk (I’ve learned nobody can figure those out) and zipped right through security. FYI, people had their toiletries in a zip lock bag in hand and ready.
The flight was comfortable. American Airlines have spacious legroom and horrible monitors for TV’s but they showed classic episodes of Cheers and Frasier so that made the flight go by pretty fast. I waited at baggage claim and my bag was one of the first to come out. So things were looking good in the city I loathe the city I have come to hate, the city of DALLAS.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do like Texas. It’s an interesting state. Beautiful cities like San Antonio with the river walk downtown. Austin with its amazing film and music culture. Big Bend National Park that has so much beauty it sucks you in especially at sunset. I just had a bad experience in Dallas last time I was here. My mother told me to find one thing about Dallas to like, so that will be my mission. My mission is to come to peace with Dallas.
I hopped on the bus to the rental car place and over heard a lady say she would not drive on any road with George W. Bush’s name on it. It’s funny; the biggest toll road in Dallas is named after our president. I walked into the Enterprise rental car and waited in this long line. An employee was going down the line taking names and saw that I was an Enterprise member. So he let me cut in line, I guess that’s one of the perks. Everything was ready to go so I handed over my credit card. Swipe. Nothing. Swipe. Nothing. The employee goes to the back for a moment and comes back. Eric says, “I’ve never had a corporate card get denied.” I just nodded and smiled and then started to laugh. I stepped out of line and made a couple phone calls to my boss and to Amex. We tried different things but Enterprises policy wouldn’t let me use my boss’s number over the phone. Finally, after my boss got a hold of the person at Full Sail that takes care of that stuff called Amex and upped my account 2,500 dollars. After 45mins, I was able to get my car. Eric had a few customers who were pissy with him before me and was relieved that I was nice about all of it. So when I got to my car I was upgraded from a midsize to an SUV. I’ve named him Big Boy. I climbed into Big Boy and headed off. To my amazement it was 4 miles just to get off the airport property. Driving into Dallas I ran into my number 1 pet peeve…traffic. Dallas drivers compare to Los Angeles drivers. Dallas is considered the fourth largest city according to the locals here, which makes sense because of the traffic. Then not knowing where to go adds to that. I’m starting to get used to it now that I do this everyday. Finally I arrive at the hotel. The Hilton Garden Inn/Allen TX. It’s kinda like a Holiday Inn Express but nicer. It has a microwave, fridge, big size room that overlooks the pool. So I was quite pleased with it. I jumped into the shower and cleaned up for dinner.
Next door is a restaurant named Two Rows Grill; it’s a restaurant/bar like any other Bennigan’s or whatever. I forget you can still smoke at the bar so that’s where I placed myself. I ordered garlic mushroom steak, garlic mashed potatoes, pasta salad and an Iced-Tea. Two 50something Texans sat down next to me after their long day of work. I’ve noticed they were regulars since well, everybody knew them and the guy at the end of the bar buys them a round of beers. My food arrives and I dig in. This was the most amazing meal I’ve had at a restaurant in a long time. The steak was tender, the potatoes fresh it was good. The older Texan next to me asks, “How’s your vittles?” In my head I’m laughing at ‘vittles.” I tell them it’s amazing. Before I know it I’m in a conversation with these gentlemen. Stuart, 50’s dressed in slacks and a blue button up shirt. Tim 50 dressed in jeans and scruffy shirt. They look rugged but they are good people. They remind me of my North Carolina Uncles. I find out they have been friends since the 7th grade and love to go fishing. They admit they are the worst fishermen on earth but their love for just being out in the open water intrigues me. I finish my meal and they offer to by me a drink, of course I except. We talk about where I’m from, what I do and what I’ve done. As the conversation goes on we decide to make a fishing show together. A light bulb goes off in my head and I think it’s the most brilliant idea.
The Pitch:
These two good ole’ boy, bad fishermen with probably the most remarkable looks and personalities takes celebrities or whoever out fishing and drinking for a day all over the country.
I can’t explain it but these guys were awesome. These guys are full of life, love and wisdom as well as being absolutely hilarious. I would film them fishing anytime and never get bored. They offered me a place and whatever if that’s something I wanted to film. They bought me a couple rounds and we just talked it up. They introduced me to the manager of the restaurant, the sweet bartender Becca and we just hung out. It was like hanging out with family. Tim’s wife calls and she’s making fish for dinner. I’m invited but I gratefully decline. As the gentlemen leave to go back to their families these two hilarious long time friends and barflies invite me back to Allen TX anytime and I will be taken care of. Now that’s good ole’ hospitality. I have their card for when I’m ready to make this amazing fishing show. And now I know what house I can go to when I need an Elk Burger.
I know the day started out rocky then smoothed out then became rocky again. But what if the addresses were correct, what if my card did work what would have happened then? I don’t think a nicer evening after a long day of traveling could have been without those rocks in the road.
Dallas, are you growing on me? We’ll see in four more days…
I woke up at 4am this morning hoping to get a head start by going into the office and get some work done. I start by making maps for my schools. I start searching for the school’s address and check if the teacher puts down an address in the email. I rarely do the latter but I sensed something fishy. The school in the subject line didn’t match the teacher’s address that she puts down in the email. After going through all this I find that two schools were inconsistent. I finally lock down the right address by emailing the teachers this morning and lucky for me they wrote back quick. Based on the previous addresses I booked my hotels based on that location so now I find myself thirty miles away from all the schools. Now with that new system with (I’m not going to swear) Expedia I can’t change my hotels like I could have with the old system. So now I just have to wake up a bit earlier.
I jumped into my car and made my way to the airport. Everything was going perfectly well. My American Airline flight was on time, I help others at the kiosk (I’ve learned nobody can figure those out) and zipped right through security. FYI, people had their toiletries in a zip lock bag in hand and ready.
The flight was comfortable. American Airlines have spacious legroom and horrible monitors for TV’s but they showed classic episodes of Cheers and Frasier so that made the flight go by pretty fast. I waited at baggage claim and my bag was one of the first to come out. So things were looking good in the city I loathe the city I have come to hate, the city of DALLAS.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do like Texas. It’s an interesting state. Beautiful cities like San Antonio with the river walk downtown. Austin with its amazing film and music culture. Big Bend National Park that has so much beauty it sucks you in especially at sunset. I just had a bad experience in Dallas last time I was here. My mother told me to find one thing about Dallas to like, so that will be my mission. My mission is to come to peace with Dallas.
I hopped on the bus to the rental car place and over heard a lady say she would not drive on any road with George W. Bush’s name on it. It’s funny; the biggest toll road in Dallas is named after our president. I walked into the Enterprise rental car and waited in this long line. An employee was going down the line taking names and saw that I was an Enterprise member. So he let me cut in line, I guess that’s one of the perks. Everything was ready to go so I handed over my credit card. Swipe. Nothing. Swipe. Nothing. The employee goes to the back for a moment and comes back. Eric says, “I’ve never had a corporate card get denied.” I just nodded and smiled and then started to laugh. I stepped out of line and made a couple phone calls to my boss and to Amex. We tried different things but Enterprises policy wouldn’t let me use my boss’s number over the phone. Finally, after my boss got a hold of the person at Full Sail that takes care of that stuff called Amex and upped my account 2,500 dollars. After 45mins, I was able to get my car. Eric had a few customers who were pissy with him before me and was relieved that I was nice about all of it. So when I got to my car I was upgraded from a midsize to an SUV. I’ve named him Big Boy. I climbed into Big Boy and headed off. To my amazement it was 4 miles just to get off the airport property. Driving into Dallas I ran into my number 1 pet peeve…traffic. Dallas drivers compare to Los Angeles drivers. Dallas is considered the fourth largest city according to the locals here, which makes sense because of the traffic. Then not knowing where to go adds to that. I’m starting to get used to it now that I do this everyday. Finally I arrive at the hotel. The Hilton Garden Inn/Allen TX. It’s kinda like a Holiday Inn Express but nicer. It has a microwave, fridge, big size room that overlooks the pool. So I was quite pleased with it. I jumped into the shower and cleaned up for dinner.
Next door is a restaurant named Two Rows Grill; it’s a restaurant/bar like any other Bennigan’s or whatever. I forget you can still smoke at the bar so that’s where I placed myself. I ordered garlic mushroom steak, garlic mashed potatoes, pasta salad and an Iced-Tea. Two 50something Texans sat down next to me after their long day of work. I’ve noticed they were regulars since well, everybody knew them and the guy at the end of the bar buys them a round of beers. My food arrives and I dig in. This was the most amazing meal I’ve had at a restaurant in a long time. The steak was tender, the potatoes fresh it was good. The older Texan next to me asks, “How’s your vittles?” In my head I’m laughing at ‘vittles.” I tell them it’s amazing. Before I know it I’m in a conversation with these gentlemen. Stuart, 50’s dressed in slacks and a blue button up shirt. Tim 50 dressed in jeans and scruffy shirt. They look rugged but they are good people. They remind me of my North Carolina Uncles. I find out they have been friends since the 7th grade and love to go fishing. They admit they are the worst fishermen on earth but their love for just being out in the open water intrigues me. I finish my meal and they offer to by me a drink, of course I except. We talk about where I’m from, what I do and what I’ve done. As the conversation goes on we decide to make a fishing show together. A light bulb goes off in my head and I think it’s the most brilliant idea.
The Pitch:
These two good ole’ boy, bad fishermen with probably the most remarkable looks and personalities takes celebrities or whoever out fishing and drinking for a day all over the country.
I can’t explain it but these guys were awesome. These guys are full of life, love and wisdom as well as being absolutely hilarious. I would film them fishing anytime and never get bored. They offered me a place and whatever if that’s something I wanted to film. They bought me a couple rounds and we just talked it up. They introduced me to the manager of the restaurant, the sweet bartender Becca and we just hung out. It was like hanging out with family. Tim’s wife calls and she’s making fish for dinner. I’m invited but I gratefully decline. As the gentlemen leave to go back to their families these two hilarious long time friends and barflies invite me back to Allen TX anytime and I will be taken care of. Now that’s good ole’ hospitality. I have their card for when I’m ready to make this amazing fishing show. And now I know what house I can go to when I need an Elk Burger.
I know the day started out rocky then smoothed out then became rocky again. But what if the addresses were correct, what if my card did work what would have happened then? I don’t think a nicer evening after a long day of traveling could have been without those rocks in the road.
Dallas, are you growing on me? We’ll see in four more days…
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