The Great Escape

This episode takes place between 5am – 1am.

I wake up, shower, brew coffee and pack. I check out of my hotel room with no problems. I make the mistake of drinking my entire cup of coffee before I leave the hotel. I usually like to take a cup with me for the drive, but the continental breakfast hasn’t been set up yet. I leave early to be able to get some breakfast and relax before I get to the school. It’s 6:am and I have to be at work by 7:30am.

I get on the roads, missing ramps and exits until finally I get on the right road. I’m cruising down I-30W listening to NPR that there’s a road closure on I-30 because of an over turn semi. Having no idea where I am let alone where the closure is. Sure enough the closure is up ahead. I’m stuck in the middle lane for almost a half hour. The time it says it will take me to get to the school from my hotel. Of all the times where I don’t have a cup of coffee. Everyone merges to one lane and exits. Unfortunately there are not detour signs and I kind of follow the others. A stoplight separates me from the pack so now I just go on intuition. I drive on these back roads until I come to a major intersection. I make a left and voila! There’s I-30! After that 15-minute detour and on the road for close to an hour I’m cruising down I-30 towards Fort Worth. Morning rush hour is starting to show it’s ugly face. Several on ramps begin to merge pushing to the making this three lane highway into five. I now find myself in the left lane and see my exit far on the right. With my sloppy driving skills and a few obscenities I make it over to my exit in the nick of time. A few left and right turns I’m finding my roads okay until I end up in a turn only lane bunched into cars so my only choice is to turn left on the wrong road. Of course it’s the longest light in Fort Worth so it forces me to think about how much I hate driving in these cities. So I turn left and right on a side street that gets me back on the right road but I can only turn right to go the wrong way. So here I am stuck at the longest light once again having to turn left. It’s one of those five street intersections so a U-Turn is not a good Idea. I turn left and see a Wendy’s open for breakfast. I still have twenty minutes so I stop and grab some coffee. Finally I have coffee and end up on the right road. The school happens to only be two miles from that mess and I pull into the parking lot with 10minutes to spare. I grab my stuff and wonder around the school looking for the main office. Of course I’m going the wrong way and when I finally get there, it hasn’t opened yet. I wait a couple of minutes and the lady shows up. I sign in and she gives me directions to the teacher’s class. The office lady who hasn’t had her coffee yet gives me the directions to the classroom. I walk dragging my presentation suitcase behind me and carrying a box. I didn’t mention that this school is built on a hill so there are steps everywhere. It makes ten times harder to lug this gear around. I end up where I started when I was lost looking for the main office and now find myself lost again. So up stairs through busy halls I end up back at the office. The office lady apologizes because she realizes she sent me the wrong way. In fact the classroom is just around the corner from the office. After several internal obscenities screaming in my head I reach the classroom.

You know you’re a professional when you can turn off that negative hatred for your day and put on that nice fake “I’m happy to be here” smile on your face without anyone knowing. The art teacher is laid back and she’s liked the best friend or mom of the school, which makes me a bit more at ease. I set up and give my first presentation. I was still a bit frazzled so it wasn’t great, but the kids and teacher enjoyed it immensely. Of course her planning period is second period which means I have an hour to leave campus have a cigarette and gather my thoughts. The only problem with that is, is that I have six straight presentations in a row with a half hour lunch break. I show back up to the classroom and lucky for me the teacher has a coffee pot in the room and put it to use. I’m at ease now that I have coffee for the rest of the day. That’s always a perk when a teacher has coffee in the room.

After six straight and the teacher buying me taco bell for lunch I have finished inspiring young minds for the day. I pack up my things, study the map and make my way to the airport with six hours to kill.

I’m starting to crave ice-tea so I stop off the ramp at a McDonalds. The only thing that I’ve seen for awhile. I grab my ice-tea have a cigarette and relax before I turn in Big Boy. Well as the day has been going, it’s not that easy.

Of course the ramp that I got off at now merges with a bunch of other main highways and I end up on the wrong one. I exit and backtrack through a back road where it’s apparently the busiest back road in Dallas. Stuck on this two-lane road I see now where I have to go I just have to be patient and wait it out. Almost there, I’m in front of train tracks and you guessed it, a train comes. The train barrels by and I get on the ramp and start heading to the airport.

After a few swift turns I make it to the Enterprise rental car return. I take out all my stuff and hug Big Boy good-bye. I head on down to the busses and jump on one of them. As we start moving, the driver says we’re going to terminal E. I look up at the map and see that I have to go to terminal A. But the bus isn’t going to terminal A. So I ask her where I should go and she very politely (like this happens a lot) tells me to go up the stairs and straight out the doors and get on another bus to terminal A. Please!!! No More Stairs!! It’s an escalator and I’m okay with that. I go out and find the bus. It’s actually going to terminal C and A. Of course C is first. The driver is a young guy with big teeth. I think he’s a bit mentally challenged but he can’t stop talking about his girlfriend. More power this mentally challenged big tooth kid with a girlfriend…. just rub it in brotha! After being on the bus for over 20minutes learning everything I about this lovesick driver’s relationship I finally get off the bus. I have to drag my luggage a city block to the check in at the kiosk. I check in, look around and find a seat to sit. Finally I zip through security because all the restaurants are on the other side, which sucks and find my way to the gate. I still have four hours to kill. I find a Friday’s and have dinner for about an hour. I then wander around the terminal looking at shops all exclaiming how proud they are about Dallas and Texas. I feel kind of sick to my stomach. I then come across one of those airports massage places and nod my head. The room is quite inviting. Relaxed. I ask for the back and neck massage and they escort me to the chair.

After everything I have been through this was the best decision I had made all day. In the chair I realized I had made my great escape. Not the escape of leaving Dallas and the trials I had gone through the whole week. But the escape of doing something for me. Finding an oasis in the middle of the airport where I could shut down my head for a short time, enjoy being pampered, and enjoy this great escape.

My flight was on time and I boarded without any incident. I found my seat and buckled in. I grabbed the blanket and rested my head against the window falling a sleep to sounds of S80 engine and the rocking of the turbulence.

My car was intact, no cracked windows. I drove home hitting every red light there is on 436. After some more obscenities I laughed at the irony of being stuck in my car so close to home. I finally make it home, which I will stay for the next 30 hours.

I know a lot of you are in the same boat with me. Frustrated and worn down because of work or life. I encourage you to find one moment of bliss, spend an extra few bucks to be pampered or relax into something that will make you feel good. My moment in that massage chair lasted 15 minutes but it was worth every penny. So go when you can and find your Great Escape.

And yes, I have made peace with the fact that I still hate Dallas.